Behind Closed Doors
by hoodrat.friend
Summary: TV based. ChuckBlairNate. Begins with how I oh so desperately wish Hi Society would have ended. Rated T for mild sexual references, mild course language.
1. Chapter 1: Stuck Between Stations

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS 

Authors Note: If I DID own Gossip Girl, which I don't, this is how Hi Society would have ended. Please be nice and give polite constructive feedback as it is my first fan fiction. Thanks!

**---**

Kneeling toward each other on the large and comfortable bed of their dimly lit suite of the Palace hotel, Nate kissed Blair, as she began to slowly unbutton his shirt. She had already been stripped of her beautiful silver fishtail cotillion gown, and was pressed up against her ex-boyfriend in her Lacy black lingerie as his rough hands roamed her smooth and creamy skin. Nate held her softly and delicately but she couldn't help but notice that there was no passion, no desire.

Although it felt right to be with Nate, she wasn't sure if that was because she had grown accustomed to him after dating him for so many years. Was it fate that they would consummate their relationship, or merely obligation?

Feeling doubtful about what was almost certain to happen, Blair broke free of Nate's kiss, desperately hoping that looking into his eyes, she would know that she was making the right decision. He looked at her lovingly as she caressed his cheek, but the admiration was not returned and the doubt remained evident on her face. She returned to what they were doing but couldn't help but let her mind wander . . .

**---**

She had imaged this moment for so long, spending just as long planning every detail. Of course, she had assumed that Nate would be her first. Blair could have never predicted giving her virginity to Nate's best friend, of all people. Chuck Bass, infamous womanizer of the Upper East Side, with the reputation of sleeping with half the women in the city, let alone beyond it.

Losing her virginity a few weeks ago was comparably different to how she had expected it to happen. Sure, it was in the back of Chuck's limousine and she had been drinking, but she was sure she hadn't imagined the passion and the lust that had fueled them. Blair could hardly believe it. Yet despite the way that events had unfolded over the past few weeks were unexpected, she didn't regret them.

After all, right now Nate was right here, holding her and looking soulfully into her deep brown eyes like he hadn't in so long, and he finally wanted to be with her. She had seen a side of him tonight that she never knew existed, where he knew what he wanted and had fought, even literally, to be with her. But she couldn't deny that she had seen a new side of herself, too.

Since her seventeenth birthday, Blair had a new outlook of life, feeling independent and considerably happier than she had felt in a long time and Chuck had proved himself to really care about her. He had come to her when she was at her worst, when Nate had let her down for the final time, and told her that she was beautiful, placing an elegant diamond necklace around her neck. Playboy Chuck Bass had actually decided he wanted her, only her, and she couldn't remember ever feeling so cared for and appreciated. And she couldn't forget about his voice, oh that voice . . . he made he weak just thinking about it.

Blair admitted to herself that she wasn't with Chuck for revenge, which she guiltily excused as being the reason when her best friend Serena had discovered her secret. She had now been with Chuck on two separate occasions and Nate had let her down both times but Chuck made her feel like she never had before: desired. She was in no one's shadow and she finally felt special. They would be in a room full of people yet Chuck would see only her. He wanted to show that he could be faithful to Blair, so before they revealed their romance publicly he wanted to prove that he would never hurt her the way that Nate had so many times.

But Chuck had let her down, she tried to remind herself in attempt to eradicate the doubt that was only growing faster. Tonight he had proved that he couldn't be trusted . . . hadn't he? She hated that she wasn't even sure of her own thoughts, things were so much simpler even mere days ago.

**---**

Looking at Nate again, she wanted more than anything to get Chuck out of her head, and allowed herself to be immersed in the familiarity of his embrace. He gently flipped her over so that she was on her back, still kissing her softly and exploring every previously untouched area of her body. He began kissing and nibbling her ear, making her moan softly into his own in response, and he gradually moved down her neck. Blair couldn't deny how good it felt, arching her back and pressing harder into Nate's athletic body above her.

Suddenly Blair felt something tugging within her mass of wavy brown hair and sitting up awkwardly, she realized that her shiny chestnut locks had become tangled in the Erickson Beamon diamond necklace that Chuck had given her. That one small act of selflessness when she needed it most, which had started something deeper between her and Chuck which was just as beautiful as the necklace itself. A tear fell gently from her cheek, which Nate was quick to wipe away, confused as to what had suddenly overcome her.

Finally Blair had found clarity in her feelings and realizing what she had to do, she threw on her evening gown and apologized to a bewildered Nate, kissing him on the cheek and promising the explain everything soon, before hurrying out of the large wooden doors to their suite, with no time to even put on her designer heels. Blair was desperate to find Chuck and tell him everything that he meant to her, and everything she knew they could be. She ascended flight after flight of stairs, not bothering to wait for an elevator, and eventually came to the door of Chuck's suite. Knocking on his door, she felt an unfamiliar giddy and fluttering feeling in her stomach . . . butterflies.


	2. Chapter 2: The Gin and the Sour Defeat

"F off!" Chuck yelled from the bar of his lavish private suite. He was in no state to have company, having focused on drinking away his sorrows for the past hour. Ever since he had witnessed the only girl he ever cared for running back to her ex boyfriend Nate, he had been trying to get the image out of his head, but to no use.

The image of Blair hungrily kissing his best friend in the halls of the Palace hotel were haunting him, replying itself over and over within his mind. He could only image was was going on right at this moment behind closed doors, a few floors beneath him. He cursed himself for venturing up those stairs to follow Blair, and for causing her to flee up them in the first place. If only he had done things differently, he thought, Blair would be at his suite right now.

He didn't care who was continuing to incessantly knock at his door, only that they would eventually give in and leave him to the dark confines of his own private hell. There was only one person he wanted to see , but he knew it to be impossible. Girls like Blair didn't fall for boys like Chuck.

He wasn't going to make excuses for his reputation. Sure, it would be easy enough to blame his playboy lifestyle on his privileged upbringing but the truth was, his life was just the way he liked it. At seventeen years of age, he had copious amounts of money available at his dispense to spend as he pleased, free reign of his own five star New York hotel, and a distant father who couldn't care less what sort of mischief his son got into, so long as it didn't reach the media. He was as arrogant as you could get and didn't waste time with pleasantries, in favor of his brutal honesty and quick wit and didn't envy anyone. But what started out as a soft drunken kiss in the back of his limousine changed everything. As much as he tried to deny it, his womanizing ways had finally caught up to him and he had fallen, hard.

But his jealousy had soon gotten to better of him and he had ruined everything, with no one but himself to blame. She even said it herself: it's over. For good. Chuck knew there would be no second chances, he could never prove to her everything that he felt and everything that he wanted them to be, that he knew they could be.

"_You make me sick! This thing between us, it's over – for good!"_

"_Blair wait! I didn't mean to –"_

"_Don't talk to me!"_

"_Blair!" he called after her, but it was no use and she disappeared into the crowd._

"Chuck! Open the damn door!" Blair called out, interrupting Chuck's dismal, self-analyzing thoughts.

Oh great, he thought to himself, now he was even hearing things. Blair couldn't possibly be standing at his door, she was too busy screwing his best friend.

"It's me, Blair . . ."

Chuck finally looked up from his glass of gin, unsure of how to respond. Sure he was crazy about Blair, but look where opening up to her had gotten him. He had made himself vulnerable and she rejected him in the worst possible way.

He swung the door open to reveal Blair, her hair messed and face flushed. This was certainly different to how he was used to seeing her; even when she woke up her hair and makeup somehow always remained perfect. But still, he couldn't help but admire the tiny brunette in front of him. "Am I allowed to speak?" He finally inquired icily, remembering her words earlier.

But Blair didn't say anything, instead opting to lunge forward apologetically, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. Wrapping his arms around her petite frame, he breathed in the sweet scent of her wavy hair that he had become so familiar with over the past few weeks. This girl had a strange power over him, ever since he watched in awe as she seductively performed a private show just for him, in a burlesque club crowded with people. The enthralling aroma of lilies and mandarin was already making him feel dizzy with longing, wanting to take care of her and never let her go. He could feel himself growing weaker with every breath and had to struggle with the desire to kiss her.

Instead, Chuck managed to finally presume in his usual defensive and bitter tone, "So I see Nate dumped you again. After only an hour, even I'm impressed."

Blair stepped back and looked up at him, tears welling into her big brown eyes, still unable to speak.

"If you think that you can just run back into my arms every time you and Nate hit another speed bump, then you can forget about it. You said it yourself, it's over between us. Find someone more pathetic because I'm not going to be your rebound that you use and throw away as you please. You forget who I am."

As hard as it was to see streams of tears silently spilling from Blair's beautiful doe eyes as he spoke, it was so much easier for him than to tell her the truth. That none of it mattered to him, that nothing else mattered as long as he had Blair. After all, he couldn't deny that he had made more than his fair share of mistakes in the past seventeen years.

"I'm sorry I'll just go." Blair spoke softly as she motioned to leave. "I shouldn't have come," she said as she sadly closed the door behind her, for a second time that night leaving a confused and lonely boy within the confines of the Palace Hotel.


	3. Chapter 3: Arms and Hearts

Author's Note: Thanks everyone for all for the positive feedback, I was pleased with all of the suggestions and will hopefully take them into account within the next few chapters. With this next one I tried my hand at some more dialogue, but please let me know on any ways I can improve on punctuation, grammar, etc. Even though it was a bit rushed, I hope you all like it!

---

Chuck just stood there for what seemed like an eternity, looking at the gold door before him, in front of which Blair stood mere moments before. How could he have gotten himself into such a mess, he thought. Nate was his best friend and although he wasn't technically with Blair, it wasn't the first time the couple had had a momentary break up. He knew that what he had done was wrong. After all, why else would he have felt so guilty as to not want his best friend to find out?

But seeing Blair tonight only made his feelings for her grow. He tried to push those thoughts out of his head, disgusted at the kind of sap he had become, needing to take control of his thoughts. He decided that alcohol was the best way, and left his post, still at the door, to head back to the bar.

---

'I guess he murdered those butterflies after all,' Blair thought to herself.

Blair knew that she wasn't going to give up on Chuck, that somehow she could find a way to prove to him all of the things she felt, she just needed to give him time and since he had been drinking, he clearly wasn't in any state to reason. Wiping away tears, Blair tried to focus of the irony of knocking on yet another door of the Palace Hotel to try and keep herself from crying and regain composure. The door swung open to reveal a gorgeous blonde who, upon seeing Blair, immediately took her into her arms. "Goodness Blair, are you alright?" Lily asked, sympathetically.

For a moment Blair just stood there, still in her custom made cotillion gown and taking in the warmth and comfort of just being held, cared for. Although she and her mother were gradually repairing their relationship, she couldn't remember the last time her mother had held her. Looking up at Lily, she just smiled thankfully, and asked if Serena was home. Blair had never been so glad that Lily was getting their penthouse apartment renovated, for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

"Sorry sweetie, she's still out with Dan, but you're more than welcome to stay here and wait until she gets back."

"Thanks Mrs van der Woodsen, I might go and lie down in Serena's room for a while if that's okay, I've had a long night."

"Oh of course honey, would you like me to order you up some room service?"

Blair politely declined, saying goodnight and quietly making her way to Serena's room, careful not to wake her brother Erik.

---

Blair awoke to find Serena sitting up next to her, the morning sun highlighting the natural blonde of her long hair. She had always been envious of her best friend, it seemed that Serena had always gotten all of the attention, even from Blair's own mother. She must have fallen asleep before Serena got home, she thought, because she didn't remember her getting back. But even though her own love life was steadily getting worse, if that was even possible, she was glad that her best friend had found a great guy, even if he was from the other side of the bridge and at times painfully boring.

Serena didn't need to hear anything from Blair, upon seeing her sit up she just wrapped an arm around her best friend, stroking her hair as Blair rested her head on Serena's shoulder, and waiting for her to talk about it in her own time. They had been best friends for as long as either of them could remember and had reached a stage where words weren't necessary. Besides, she had gotten a desperate text from Nate earlier that morning because he was concerned about Blair. But Serena thought it was best not to bring this up, Nate had been a sensitive topic of conversation ever since Blair had found out about them hooking up the year before.

Finally Blair said good morning, apologising and explaining that she had nowhere else to go. She certainly didn't want to go home to her mother's disappointment, and had ended things rather abruptly with Nate. She explained what had happened with Chuck and that she planned to go see him and make things right after he had calmed down. All of this had come as quite a shock to Serena, having thought she had ended it with him weeks ago but knew her friend well and that she had to tread lightly with the issue.

"But Blair," Serena began softly, "are you sure you want _Chuck?_ I mean, of all people . . .?"

"It's not like guys are lined up for me S, I'm not like you. But it's not just that, you haven't seen what I have."

"B! Yuck! That was a mental image I could have done without!" Serena laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Blair tried to fight back giggles at her friend's immaturity. "No that's not what I mean," she said, blushing because she had more than welcomed the mental image, "It's more than that, it's the little things that he tries to hide, he's like a mystery to me and I just want to know everything about him."

Serena sat silently, listening attentively to her friend continue. She had a natural glow in her cheeks and was acting so differently. Serena smiled as she finally realised why she had been so happy lately – her Romeo.

"You me and Nate," she went on, "we've known each other practically our whole lives, and there isn't much at all that we don't know about each other. It's funny how I've known Chuck just as long and he still manages to surprise me."

"But don't you think he had that whole playboy of the Upper East Side thing down a little too well for it to all just be an act?" Serena enquired, trying not to sound too judgemental but genuinely worried that her best friend was setting herself up to get hurt. She could remember the last time they had talked about Chuck, resulting in Serena being uninvited from Thanksgiving dinner.

"Yeah . . ." Blair responded quietly, after a moments silence, looking down at her manicured fingernails, "I guess I can't try to defend who he was, but he's not like that around me. He wanted to commit and what did I do? I went off with his best friend!" Blair suddenly burst into tears, realising how badly she had screwed things up. Maybe Chuck would't take her back after all.

Serena knew that even if she did't approve of Chuck, he might be good for Blair right now and she decided to have faith in Blair's judgement. "Aww honey, you'll figure it out," she said, brushing her friend's hair away from her face and trying to sound optimistic.

"No. No, I won't. I can't, it's too much too forgive. He tried to commit to me and I rejected him. It's so typical, I always screw things up in one way or another. Serena, what do I do? This is a disaster! I think I'm really . . . falling for him," she said, whispering the last part as she came to the sudden realisation.

It was then that Blair knew what she had to do. She had to regain composure, return to her usual savvy self, and win Chuck back. She wasn't going to let anything get in the way, she thought, as she wiped away the last remnants of tears and sat up cheerily, grinning at Serena. She decided to change the subject and leaned forward, eyeing her friend playfully and asking, "So, what did you and Cabbage Patch get up to last night?"


	4. Chapter 4: You Can Make Him Like You

Author's Note: Sorry about the late update, I admit I was kind of blocked when it came to writing this chapter and so I wrote some scenes that I'll probably use in future chapters, which means that hopefully I'll be getting them up quicker.

Also, thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic so far, it is what inspires me to keep writing. I have plans for another dozen or so longer chapters, but I would greatly appreciate feedback on where you think the story should go, as well as aspects that I can improve on (punctuation, pace, etc.).

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

---

Chuck woke up late that morning to be greeted with a throbbing headache and a loneliness that had become all too familiar. Ever since that fateful night at Victrola, Chuck hadn't been with anyone except Blair, nor had he even wanted to. He was used to string-less sex, and even took pride in it, but one night with that last girl he would have expected changed everything. Ordinarily Chuck would often wake up with at least one girl in his bed, and he couldn't remember the last time he had gone this long without.

He knew that after being with Blair Waldorf, and allowing himself to become immersed to all of the new feelings that went along with it, that no girl would ever measure up in comparison. He might as well become accustomed to waking up to an empty bed.

Chuck tried to tell himself that he regretting being with Blair, that it had all been a mistake. Not only had she possibly screwed up any future sexual experiences, but she was also his best friend's girlfriend up until less than an hour prior to their first sexual encounter. How could he have done that to Nathaniel? He tried telling Nate about Blair when he first came to him about finding out who she was seeing, but he didn't seem to notice. Nate was sure to find out sooner or later, and he knew that he could never really be forgiven. After all, he was the one who tried to convince Nate that he should be done with Blair, and intervened when he wanted to get back together with her.

Maybe he should have been honest from the beginning. Nate would have gotten over it eventually, right? And then he could be waking up with Blair in his arms right now, and everything would be how it should be. But he wasn't honest, and Blair wasn't with him.

He told himself how wrong it was to start things with Blair in the first place, how she had screwed up everything good he had going for him. His best friend, his playboy lifestyle, and even his friendship with Blair which he had taken for granted. He didn't know how he would even manage to get over her. As long as he remained best friends with Nate she would always be there. Chuck didn't know what happened the previous night behind the closed doors of their hotel room, but knew it was only a matter of time before Nate once again came to his senses. Trying to keep them apart was useless, look at how his last attempt turned out.

Chuck eventually decided to avoid both Blair and Nate for the time being, and that he would head over to Victrola that evening to check on his business venture. Maybe that would finally get his mind off of Blair. After all, he remembered her describing it as an escape.

Argh! What was he doing? He needed to stop thinking about her!

---

Chuck answered the door to his suite with a towel around his waist and another hung over his shoulders. His hair was scruffier than usual and hadn't had time to dry himself properly before Blair knocked on his door. Blair couldn't help but stare as a droplet of water streaked down his abs. She contemplated to herself whether or not he often answered this door like this – no wonder he had so many conquests. Chuck was certainly charismatic but she had never taken in the full extent of his sex appeal. Nate who?

Chuck new he wouldn't be able to avoid Blair forever but he certainly didn't expect it to be her knocking on his door, otherwise he would have thought twice before answering wearing no more than a towel.

It was rare for her to see Chuck in anything other than a suit or a St Jude's uniform and Blair certainly didn't regret her decision to stop by. It was now noon and Blair had already gone home to shower and get changed into something more appropriate before going out to breakfast with Serena and returning to the Palace to knock on Chuck's door. Things hadn't exactly gone to plan the night before and instead of her movie script ending with her new leading man, she had foolishly screwed everything up and was back where she was, standing in that same doorway to make things right again. Blair had always considered persistence to be her greatest strength, she never gave up and she certainly wouldn't give up on Chuck.

"Blair I really don't –" Chuck began before Blair lunged forward, cutting him off mid sentence with a passionate embrace. She had had enough of playing the innocent girl, taken advantage by Chuck Bass and it was her turn to take control and show Chuck how she felt. After all, she was always better at show than tell and so she let her tongue take a different approach in the talking.


End file.
